Wired editor Scott Dadich would like his offices to be free of action figures and other distractions. Today he sent a memo to the magazine's employees, which Wired fan-blog The Awl has reproduced:

It's an embarrassment: coffee stains on walls (and countertops and desks), overflowing compost bins, abandoned drafts of stories and layouts (full of highly confidential content), day-old, half-eaten food, and, yes, I'm going to say it, action figures. Please. WIRED is no longer a pirate ship. It's the home of world-changing journalism. It's the West Coast home of Condé Nast. And it's increasingly a place where we, and our New York colleagues and owners, host artists, founders, CEOs, and advertisers.

The memo is worth reading in full. Scott Dadich sounds like a schmuck, if we can be frank with our readers!

But whatever. Anal, design-obsessed San Francisco bosses will do as they always have. That being said. We have written recently that journalists should not make (too much) money. While we are making the rules, we might suggest that should not be clean or organized, either. Not because of romantic visions of crowded, messy newsrooms, but because the chief task of a news publication's office is not to impress advertisers and CEOs but to provide a space where journalists can easily report, write, and edit. Just as journalists should not be comfortably rubbing shoulders with the people who should be their targets, they also should not be playing obedient hosts to "artists, founders, CEOs, and advertisers."

(Salespeople, obviously, should. This is why at publishing company parties you can pick out the salesforce by looking for the attractive people in fashionable clothes making engaging conversation, and you can pick out the journalists by looking for the silent, disheveled people posted up as close to the bar as possible.)

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable, as they say! And what better way to enforce discomfort in the rich and beautiful than with mess and slovenliness?

Also, no more family photos, scum.

We all treasure our photos of loved ones. Mementos of personal accomplishment. I encourage you to proudly display a few small items at your desk because our workspace reflects who we are. It reflects our values. But how we treat our workplace is a manifestation of how seriously we take our work. When we stop caring for our shared spaces, we demonstrate a lack of respect for the space and for each other. When you leave stains on countertops, it's disgusting for your colleagues and embarrassing for visitors.

The Awl has previously written about Dadich, whom Capital New York once described as looking "plausibly like a famous person," and his apparent plan to "purchase the magazine from Condé Nast," likely by raising money from Silicon Valley billionaire venture capitalists.

Image, of a passage in Animals in the Third Reich by Boria Sax, chosen by totally random search