According to the real estate blog 6sqft, Frank Bruni, perhaps the worst of the New York Times’ bad columnists, recently purchased an apartment on West 74th Street in Manhattan for $1.5 million, which is a lot of money. The blog notes that Bruni has acquired “the perfect canvas to create his dream home,” which is a lie for one very specific reason.

Frank Bruni’s new apartment—with its original hardwood floors, spacious rooms and floor-to-ceiling windows—appears to have zero outdoor space beyond a “shared garden.” There is no balcony, no terrace, no deck, no roof. Just Frank Bruni, trapped inside, a turkey babbling about turkey.

If you pay $1.5 million for a home with no outdoor space, except for a “shared garden,” you’re a goddamn sucker.

[image via AP]