So you're given a guided tour of a prison-complex-cum-nightmare-chamber where beatings are frequent and inmates die without medical care. What do you do? Pull out the iPhone and fire up Twitter—it's time for some laffs, baby.

This morning, Wall Street Journal city hall reporter Michael Howard Saul attended a press conference at Rikers Island, where Bill de Blasio was to speak about a slate of proposed reforms at the terrifying and violent jail. Before the briefing, reporters were given a glimpse at the life of an average inmate.

The tour started innocently enough. First, they saw a shower.

This is probably true—the shower does not look particularly private.

Next, they saw a cell.

This, too, is almost certainly true. Enlightening, even. A fleeting impression of the unadorned cube in which a Rikers prisoner—who may not have even been convicted of a crime—spends most of his time.

Then, they saw a toilet. Uh-oh.

Poop: Now there's a chuckle. Poop will bring the RTs rolling in. After poop, it was cupcake Sunday at one of New York's most deadly jails.

But it was not until after viewing a mirror and sink that Saul engaged full Jerry Seinfeld mode. What's up with that?

The criminal justice system in New York City disproportionately targets black and poor people, sending them to a notoriously violent and poorly-managed prison for minor infractions for which upper-class whites routinely go unpunished, and often depriving inmates of opportunities to gainful employment when they get out—plus, wow, would you get a load of this pillow?

Being a reporter is hard.

The world is Michael Howard Saul's prison, and we are his keepers. This jail is real—not like the movies, such as Silence of the Lambs.

And just like that, de Blasio showed up and ruined all their fun. Why so serious, Mr. Mayor?

Great reporting from a source we can trust.

Image via AP. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.